Subject: Bobbysoxer Summer Vacation Story Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 21:17:20 -0400 From: "Elizabeth A. Mancz" To: Karen Duffy Dear Karen, >Okay, didn't take me long. Remember if you see any neuro errors, that I'm prone to them and will need to know. (^_^) Oh, I'd better add the picture.< The picture is VERY cute! As to errors: Page 3, one of the explanation lines: "He and the kangaroo in questiion.... too many "i's" in question. Page 4, the female kangaroo's line -- should "kansai ben" be capitalized? I don't know... also, the explanation line following this -- She grabs Leo, (Needs a comma after Leo) puts him into her pouch and takes off. Page 9. Leo's line... "Some guys harassing me... " needs a verb... "Some guys ARE harassing me..." would work. Page 14: Staff's line: "The kid's been absconded again!" probably should read: "The kid's been absconded WITH again!" Page 15: Explanation line: And there's a lasso around the kangaroos neck. That last should probably be "kangaroo's neck". Kagetora's line: should "Guys" be capitalized? Rika's father's line: Where are that video come from? should probably be: Where DID that video come from?... Otherwise it was great. It's a cute little story! Of course, I'd have loved a serious smooch... but you can't have everything! Liz